Someone out there in the heaven might be doing a great job tying the knots for couples, but the greater job still needs to be done on the Earth- ‘maintaining the marriage.’ In this roller-coaster ride people often bump on unexpected, sometimes unwanted, surprises while at times desperately wait for some excitement. Undeniably, the job needs skill. Marriage brings a power-packed combo of bitter-sweet moments to everyone but adding some humour to it makes the bitter ones less struggling. No marriage is perfect so let’s laugh off the flaws with these 14 hilarious quotes on marriage.
1. I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewellery.
– Rita Rudner
2. My husband and I have never considered divorce…murder sometimes, but never divorce.
– Joyce Brothers
3. An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
– Agatha Christie
4. Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.
5. When a man opens the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.
6. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
7. When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
8. How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
9. Any married man should forget his mistakes – no use two people remembering the same thing.
10. When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
11. My wife is a psychologist…not only does she know when I’m being a jerk, but she knows exactly what type of jerk I’m being.
– Lee Judge
12. When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.
13. Anybody who claims that marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn’t know the first thing about women or fractions.
14. Why do married people live longer than single people? I think it’s because married people make a special effort to live longer than their partner – just so they can have the last word.
– Janet Periat
Life is too short to brood over the banalities of marriage. Laugh at them and enjoy the togetherness.